Planning your wedding should be a joyful time to remember and tell your kids about, as should your actual wedding day be. However, many times people get too caught up in the numbers and the stress of what goes into a smooth and happy wedding day. It’s easy to do. Don’t let yourself get caught up in that stressful mess and mess up this wonderful time in your life. You can do that by realistically planning and honest, open communication.

Before you even begin to think about planning your wedding, talk to friends and family about theirs. You’ll probably learn some interesting stories and find out things about them you never knew – and they’ll probably enjoy reminiscing about everything with you. If you’re lucky, you may even come up with some great ideas for your own wedding that is inspired from their stories. If you’re luckier, you’ll learn about the hiccups they had with their wedding and be able to better plan so that you don’t repeat the same mistakes.

Way before the planning begins, you and your soon-to-be spouse should have an open conversation about what you expect or desire for your wedding day. Find out what each of you are willing to compromise on and negotiate and what is an absolute must. Remember that this is the start of your new life together and these will be some of the first and biggest decisions you will make together! Money is almost always an issue, so be sure to settle on a budget as soon as you can.

Soon as you’ve done the above, then start calling around and getting estimates on everything. It’s never too early to start this phase. The earlier you start, the more time you have to go over everything and make the right decisions for your situation. If you have family and friends who can help, be sure to utilize that so you aren’t carrying around more of a burden than you have to. You may think you want to do it all, but trying to do everything yourself is going to lead to stress and tiredness very quickly.

Make a checklist. Make a plan. Get help and stick to it！